Today was a wonderful day, Mr. M enjoyed going out and exploring true nature, we had fun, he experienced some things for the first time in his little 6 years, but tonight my heart is in pieces.
Have you ever felt that crying sensation in your heart, where the lump in your throat is so big it is so hard to swallow, but you need to stay brave? I now understand how people feel who were displaced in countries like Afghanistan, Seria, and even Palestine.
The feeling of being lost, scared and uncertain, the what if's and the how am I going to do this, how am I going to stay strong when you feel like breaking down every second, for the first time you are completely helpless, depending on others, when for 16 years you never did.
Emotions well up and you do not know how to explain certain things to little M, when he was used to everything being smooth sailing and now not understanding why until now he can't have his own room.
Tonight I feel lost, sad, angry, upset, and want to escape to a world unknown. Rethinking all the decisions I have made in past few years, where did I go wrong?
Tonight more than ever my heart goes out to every single mom, every family who has been displaced, lost their homes, jobs, or even that someone who feels completely outnumbered, tonight more than ever I feel you, but tonight more than ever I also want to remember what wise women use to say, "No one will take care off you, except yourself!"
Stay strong and know tomorrow we will all be better.
Signing off for the night
xxxx
